Here is a quote from St. John Chrysostom:
"To be men of wisdom means to honor Christ in the way he desires. For a person being honored finds greater pleasure in the honor he desires and not in the honor we think best."
In today's gospel Jesus gives us the recipe for honor:
"whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."
Unless we deny ourselves then we simply live in denial, in the denial of all that is good, true, and beautiful, in the denial of God himself making himself known in Jesus Christ.
When you find it difficult to carry your cross, it probably because you are walking in front of Jesus and no longer behind him.
Get behind him and let his strength claim hold of your weakness.