Apology

Today, Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, we have a reading from Tobit. What a beautiful reading it is. We hear the story of the righteous man Tobit, who after burying the dead falls a sleep against a wall, perhaps out of exhaustion or perhaps out of penance and prayer for the dead, nonetheless, he awakens to the fact that bird droppings had fallen into his eyes through night and after some visits to the Doctors, his eyesight is lost and he is blind.

The reading that follows is a snapshot of the life him and his wife lived after the blindness. His wife had become the primary care giver as well as the primary provider, working to make sure they had enough to eat.

After this toilsome endeavor, one day she comes home and there erupts between Tobit and her an argument, perhaps a yelling match, not uncommon given the situation.

Perhaps the frustration of being blind had taken its toil on Tobit. Slowly his kind demeanor had been eroded by this prolonged sickness. He is cranky, frustrated, in a bad mood and he takes it our on his wife. Perhaps his wife feels a bit under appreciated, after all she has held all things together by working her fingers to the bone. Day and night toils and cares and toils and cares and perhaps seldom was heard a sigh of gratitude or thankfulness.

This is a common scenario in many lives, in many families. How often Chronic illness becomes a source of tension and frustration and bad blood in families. How often the anger that lies buried within finds an outlet in those that we love the most and those that love us?

It is ironic that it is our loved ones that get the harshest treatment. It is ironic that we often treat strangers and neighbors better that wives and children. What a sad twisted reality we live.

Listen to the dialogue between Tobit and his wife and see if you cannot relate.
"I called to my wife and said, "Where did this goat come from? Perhaps it was stolen! Give it back to its owners; we have no right to eat stolen food!" She said to me, "It was given to me as a bonus over and above my wages." Yet I would not believe her, and told her to give it back to its owner. I became very angry with her over this. so she retorted: "where are your charitable deeds now? Where are your virtuous acts? See! Your true character is finally showing itself."

How quickly something so meaningless can be the source of great frustration and conflict. How a simple trust in his wife's honesty and hard work would have solved the problem and alleviated the tension. Yet rather than trust, Tobit, gave in to suspicion and paranoia.

Nonetheless, the beauty of the reading is that Tobit writes it as an apology. He acknowledges his fault and his anger. He is seeking to make amends. He swallows his pride and seeks forgiveness. This reading is meant to give us a glimpse into Tobit's ability to see that he was wrong and acted rashly toward a woman who simple did her best to serve him in love.

It is never too late to ask for forgiveness.

What a beautiful concept.
Lent is a perfect time to make amends, to swallow our pride and to seek forgiveness where forgiveness is to be found. It is also a time to not let petty things interfere in greater realities like love and trust and honesty and simple kindness.

This is the journey God invites us on these next 40 days.