becoming the Father

Growing up in a household of Ten wasn't always easy, but it was always a great adventure filled with much to do about everything, especially when everybody's business belonged to everybody, a large part because there was only one bathroom and no where really to hide or escape.

One thing that stands out in the family is that we often compared each other to our parents. This was the big "insult", the one that we would hurl at each other as kids. When ever we got into a fight with one another and when we were losing the fight and had no where to run, we would look the other in the eye and say those damaging words, "oh, Yeah, well you are just like your Father."

Those were fighting words and hurtful comments that often caused the other person to stop momentarily and give us, who were losing, the opportunity to run for our lives.

Now, I am not saying being called your mother or father has to be an insult, i just know as kids that was the last thing we wanted to become. We wanted to break from beneath our parents watchful gaze, we wanted to get out on our own, be our own man.

Flash forward to college, some years back. Who I am kidding, more than some years back, more like 8 or nine years back. I remember waking up one morning, looking into the mirror, and seeing not me but my father. I recognized his cheek lines, his eye brows, his nose, his facial expression, his blue eyes staring back at me.

It was frighting, but true. I spent a life time running from my father, only to discover him written all over my face.
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It happens to all of us at some point in our life; we recognize our parents in ourselves, the way we look, the way we talk, the words we use, the love we share.

There is no complete getting away from it...At some point we must learn to become our father, our mother, at least the good aspects, those aspects that brought us life, and growth, and love...

THis is true spiritually as well.

The reason Jesus invites us to become like chidlren, to become children of God in order to enter the kingdom, is not just so that we learn how to become dependent and open to the guidance of the Father, but also so that once we understand our true parentage, then we can become our Father as well.

This is in the invitation of the gospel this Sunday. The story of the prodigal Son.

This passage, luke chapter 15, is probably the most read, most memorized, most easily relatable story of all the gospels. Many would say it is a gospel within the gospel.

The man with two sons, as the story is told, one who desires to leave and go off on his own, to do his own things, to become his own man and the other who stays behind obedient and duty oriented.

But at the heart of the story, though we can relate to both sons, the rebellious one who squanders his inheritance and comes begging home and the other son, who grows resentful and angry at the sight of the brother of his who abandon all, stands the Father. The mysterious figure who opens his arms and makes room for his sons.

Here is where our attention must go and remain fixed. We must see the Father, witness the Father, learn form the Father, so that in time we too may become the Father...growing up in spiritual maturity and become like our Father in heaven.

It is easy for us to relate to the one who is forgiven, but we must be the one who forgives!
It is easy for us to relate to the one who is being welcomed back home, but we must be the one who welcomes!
It is easy to be the one who recieves compassion, but we must be the one who offers it!
It is easy to be the one recieves the homecoming celebration, but we must be the one gives it!

We have one vocation in life and that is to grow old, to become the Father figure for the world.

This is why Jesus says time and time again, he who sees me sees the Father.

How do we learn to beocme the Father, how do we embark on our own spiritual marutirty, leaving adolescents behind and embracing our true patrimony?

Three movements stand out, though there certaintly may be more, but these three stand out.

Grief, forgiveness, generosity

we must be willing to be effected by the sins and decisions of others. We must be willing to grieve the pain and suffering caused by so may hurtful and rash decisions.

We recognize that this sorrow is the price of freedom and makes love possible. In true grief we see beyond ourselves and look to how others are affected. This grief becomes a prayer that invites true and penetrating compassion. It is the same kind of grief that enables Jesus to weep over Jerusalem to weep at the death of Lazarus. A grief that moves beyond the "I" of selfishness and recongizes pain and suffering in others.

Secondly we must be willing to forgive.
Jesus says time and time again, unless you forgive your brother your Father will not forgive you. We pray about forgiveness in the Lord's prayer everytime we gather, forgive us as we forgive others.

Our forgiveness must not have conditions. How often we wait for apologies, excuses, schemes, reasons, actions, yet the Father in the story didn't even listen to the excuse of the Son. All he needed was repentance, the simple gesture of returning home. Forgiveness without conditions but that which is constant and ready at a spurs notice to be given.

Notice what is absent in the dialogue in the story: there is no pointing figures, no "i told you sos", no words of anger or condemnation, no begrading, no insults, no getting back, no revenge. There is just simple acceptance of the repentance offered.

Thridly, we must be generous.
The generosity of the Father is prompt, without delay. He holds nothing back for himself. He kills the fatted calf, brings out the robe, the shoes, the ring. It is a complete and prompt welcome. The celebration is deep and encouraging not degrading and tearing down.

The word generosity has within it that root "gen" which we use in generation, gentleness, engender. IT simply means to belong to the same kind. We are generous to one another becasue we see into each other ourselves, we are all the same.

In these movements throughout our life: grief, forgivenss, generosity we learn to become like the Father and thus enter into true rejoicing.

It is never complete but always a work in progress.

Grief enables us to see beyonf our walls we put up once we are hurt and wounded; forgiveness empowers us to climb those walls offering a hand to help; generosity enables us to tear down the walls and create a space of welcome and celebration for we see in the other our very selves.



Thus when we arrive home, the Father will recognize us because he will be able to see himself in our reflection, and we will be able to say with confidence I am my Father's son.

We must learn to become like our Father and begin to know true joy in life.